Victor-A Person That I Could Not Forget

"Hey girl, the zip on your beg is open, be careful..."

9 years back,14 years old me, on a Saturday morning, 7.30am, waiting for the bus at Old Town bus stop to attend a band training...and this was the first sentence of the day...that shocked me ( I'm basically half asleep while waiting for the stupid bus to arrive.)

Our conversation started off just like that, he was waiting for his friend to pick him up to somewhere and saw my beg was opened, and decided to let me know the danger in it, Petaling Jaya Old town, a place that fills with thief and robbers (at those days, I am not too sure about now...). Had a short conversation with him, got to know him by the name of Victor, 20 years old, just graduated and would like to be my friend. So I should admit that 14 years old me, stupid me... we exchange phone number (yup, phone number, and I gave him my real number *sweat* but he as well gave his number to me...too). Left the bus stop without thinking that much as I was still half asleep.

2 weeks later, somehow I had totally forgot about him and did not even think that he will really call me up, basically I just know that his name --> Victor, 21 years old, nothing more than that. So happened he called up and would like to have a drink with me during the weekend. Stupid me again, I attended, without knowing how dangerous the world would be, Muahaha! But no regrets, we had a nice day meeting up, chit chatting whole day, and it was my first experience having coffee in Starbucks! Of cause, he paid for the bills! Ha!

Through conversation, I found out that his is an interesting guy, with loads of dreams and passion. Compare to me that time; I felt that I was so damn small. Knowing that my dreams will never come true (too many obstacles that hold me back), seeing him with his fantastic dreams, attracted me a lot.

In total, we’d meet each others 4 times, every once a month. On the 4^th month when he called, his voice changed to an abnormal him. I can still remember very clearly as the sadness of the voice, from him was so clear. He asked me out again, I agreed and attended that weekend. It was the most abnormal day as the whole day he just kept quiet, very quiet; there was no laughter or sharing. I did not say or ask anything as somehow I could felt that I shouldn’t. The whole world remains silent at that moment. I was about to leave, told him, he asked me to do him a favor, sit nearer to him. I did as I thought he have something to tell me. Out of a sudden, he hugged me, tightly I did not push him away as I heard that he was mumbling some words near my ears and I heard sobbing sound. What I could hear was only “gives me more time…” Felt that he was letting go of his hand, my first reaction was turn back and say bye, left myself with lots of question marks and walked away, without turning back. He called up that night and the only words that he said was sorry for his misbehave action. I thought of asking him what is happening but somehow, he put down the phone fast.

There were no calls, nothing from him since that day. I felt regret, I should not have left just like that; I had a strong feeling something was not right. I tried calling him after that but every time when I pick up the phone, my guts flews. I DARE NOT…

If I am not mistaken, it should be 6 months later. Again, my memories towards him are kind of faded. I got a phone call from a lady, claims that she is Victor’s sister. She got my number from a letter that Victor wrote for me. A letter that found in his drawer, after he was…gone?!?!?! Hell!! Deep shit, what happen? His sister did not explain much, just asked me to meet up somewhere for the letter. I did not` dare not meet her up. She called for few times and maybe cause by frustration and annoyed, she did not call up anymore.

What did she mean by “GONE”? What was written in the letter? What happened? Where is he? What did he mean by give him more time? I don’t even dare to ask these questions to myself, and somehow, I know that there will forever no answers for all these questions.

Though, until now, time washes lots of his memories off from me, but I could not forget, there was this guy name Victor, walked into my life when I was 14, and he left a bunch of question marks in my mind and gone…without a reason.

There is only one thing that I know, though I could not really recall how he looks like, but the smile on his face when he was saying “Hey girl, the zip on your beg is open, be careful...", I can still clearly remember..

Victor.Chong